


Intangible

by songofdefiance



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M, Non-Chronological, Telepathic Bond, Telepathy, references to multiple episodes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2020-03-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:28:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23113210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/songofdefiance/pseuds/songofdefiance
Summary: There are other consequences to New Earth.
Relationships: Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway
Comments: 16
Kudos: 61





	Intangible

**Author's Note:**

> My entry for the JC tropes fic fest. My trope was psychic/telepathy. Hope you enjoy!

The technology that the Devore use picks up an anomaly in suspects’ brains; supposedly, that anomaly is what gives someone away as a telepath. Also supposedly, neither Kathryn nor Chakotay has this anomaly.

All the same - the first time the Devore board Voyager, Kathryn gives orders for her crew to comply with the inspection, then leans across the command console.

“Shields up,” she murmurs to Chakotay.

It is a feeling that she doesn’t think she’ll ever get used to - when his warm, steady presence in her head vanishes, as they both encircle their minds with the walls they’ve had to learn to build.

She keeps eye contact with Kashyk the entire time he’s in her ready room, and keeps her thoughts quiet and still until the last Devore steps off of her ship.

Kathryn lets out the breath she’s been holding, looks at Chakotay, and nods.

* * *

_ Kathryn. Do you trust me? _

It stops her in her tracks, on her way to the captain’s chair. Kathryn only falters for a moment before she’s moving again, and no one sees it. The only person who might have seen it isn’t there. He’s on the planet below, he’s in pain, and the pain has only been getting worse as time passes.

Even so, it’s rare for them to communicate with words. They’ve learned that it is easier to convey feelings, or fleeting images. If Chakotay is sending her actual words...

_ Yes,  _ she replies.

_ I need you to put your shields up. Whatever you might be sensing, don’t take them down. Promise me. _

Kathryn closes her eyes. She’s careful to hide her fear from everyone, except for the one person she can’t quite hide it from.

_ Promise me! _

The words reverberate in her skull, and Kathryn promises. She makes sure he knows that she’s not happy about it, and winces at the pain that lances through her temples. Her pain is only an echo of his, but it’s still unpleasant.

She throws up her shields, clearing out her mind until there is nothing in her thoughts except stars. It doesn’t take long before she feels it.

There are  _ others  _ where there shouldn’t be. Alien, unwelcome, all thinking the same thoughts at the same time. It’s unnatural, harsh, and frightening. Her concentration very nearly breaks, but she has a promise to keep, and she keeps the stars at the forefront of her mind. 

“Mr. Tuvok,” she says, keeping her voice even. “You have the bridge. I’ll be in my ready room.”

She takes measured, careful steps as she leaves the bridge, and as soon as she makes it to her sofa, she lies down, trying to keep her breathing even. Whatever this is, whatever is happening to Chakotay - it is taking everything she has to keep them out of her own mind as well, and she has no idea how long this is going to last. 

When it finally abates - hours later, as it turns out - there are tear tracks drying on her cheeks.

* * *

It’s like someone has turned off a light.

It’s that quick. That abrupt. One millisecond, and then there is a gaping hole in his awareness, and emptiness that has him falling to his knees.

“Commander?”

Harry has noticed. Chakotay waves a hand at him when he makes to stand. He reaches out into the abyss, grasping desperately for the warmth he knows, the stars,  _ his  _ star.

There is not even the faintest reply.

His voice is hoarse when he says, “We need to get back. Something’s happened to Voyager.”

He expects the question, but he still winces when Neelix asks, “How do you know?”

They don’t have time for Chakotay to explain. Whatever’s wrong, Kathryn’s likely already...

(But if there’s even the  _ slightest  _ chance that she’s not -)

“That doesn’t matter right now,” he says. “Take us back to Voyager. That’s an order.”

Chakotay thanks all of his ancestors when they obey.

* * *

“Does it ever come back?”

Admiral Janeway sips at her coffee, regarding Kathryn without surprise. She’s been expecting this question, then.

“You’re referring to your absent bond with Commander Chakotay?” she says.

Kathryn nods. 

The Admiral smiles, but there is no joy in it. “Yes, it came back.”

Kathryn hangs her head in relief.

“The day Seven died.”

Kathryn tenses. 

Before she can say that she doesn’t want to know, the Admiral continues. “I suppose our pain was enough to break down whatever barrier the Quarrans’ brainwashing put in place. Imagine it - both of us, believing ourselves to be alone with our grief, and suddenly we weren’t. Suddenly our pain was magnified, amplified by the fact that it bounced back and forth between us. To this day I’m convinced we nearly killed each other.”

Kathryn swallows, knowing that it’s not a good idea to ask, but unable to stop herself. “And after that?”

The Admiral turns away from her. “We put our shields up, and we never took them down again.”

* * *

“Was it ever real?” Chakotay asks her, unable to keep the despair off of his face. “If we’re stumbling this much without the bond, was what we had ever real to begin with?”

* * *

Later, after it’s all said and done - the universe has been saved from Omega, and Kathryn has had her full medical workup done, proving undeniably that she’s returned from the dead, they’re lying in his bed in his quarters, not even bothering to pretend to sleep. They’re just reveling in the company of each other’s thoughts. The familiar patterns that they thought lost to them.

Chakotay’s thoughts are like the ocean, their rhythm soothing and familiar to Kathryn, and with her stars, Chakotay is no longer lost.

* * *

Their bond, Chakotay has found, means that conversation between them really isn’t necessary. Since they’ve agreed that they’ll keep this from the crew, however, they both know that not speaking whenever they interact would seem more than a little strange at best - and start making the Starfleet and Maquis parts of the crew wary at worst.

“So,” Chakotay says, handing her a cup of coffee. “How long do we want to stay here and negotiate for supplies?”

They’re alone right now. Theoretically, that means that they don’t need to speak aloud. But it keeps them from falling into the habit of communicating via thought alone.

“I figure a few rotations won’t do any harm,” Kathryn replies. Before they can stop themselves, they work out a shore leave schedule in a matter of seconds, their brains moving faster than their mouths could ever hope to.

They grin sheepishly at one another. “Oops,” Kathryn says. “You know, one day the crew is going to figure out that we’re staging those pool games.”

“But until then, we can keep on winning holodeck time from the betting pools,” Chakotay says with a wink, and Kathryn throws back her head and laughs. 

* * *

“It doesn’t matter,” Kathryn answers. She leans across the table and grabs his hand. “Bond or not, I know that I love you.  _ That  _ is real.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'll admit - originally, I was hoping to write something much more substantial. Unfortunately, my muse has all but deserted me, and I cobbled this together at the last minute. These are more like snapshots from what I meant to originally write, but I hope it was still satisfying nonetheless. Thanks for reading!


End file.
